


It's You and Me (I Know It's My Destiny)

by ChaoticDemon



Category: Deadpool (2016), Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: M/M, Minor Character Death, Pokemon GO - Freeform, Rescue Missions, Super cheesey because I can't write romance any other way, Swearing, Tony is long-suffering, Wade is Ridiculous
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-28
Updated: 2016-08-28
Packaged: 2018-08-08 14:11:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,171
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7760956
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChaoticDemon/pseuds/ChaoticDemon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You’re terrible at rescuing people,” Tony told Wade. “Three out of ten, would not recommend.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's You and Me (I Know It's My Destiny)

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Whathecheeze](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Whathecheeze/gifts).



> I hope you like it. I didn't have anything to go on other than the pairing, so hopefully I didn't include anything you don't like.
> 
> Title is from the English language Pokémon theme song.

Strictly speaking, Tony didn’t need a rescue. He had already managed to remove himself from his bonds and get out of the room his captors had tucked him away in. He’d even cobbled together a few weapons along the way. Still, it was hard to fight back the grin that tried to creep over his face at the sight of who had come to rescue him. He took in the familiar red suit, the unsheathed blades, the smartphone strapped to the outside of his savior’s thigh.

 

Tony squinted at the phone, taking in the faint image on the screen. “Are you seriously playing Pokémon Go right now?”

 

“I have eggs to hatch,” Wade answered, affronted.

 

“And you choose to do that now?” Tony gestured around them, at the hallway filled with flashing lights. There were a couple of dark shapes slumped in the corner; Tony wasn’t entirely certain if they were dead or just unconscious. The walls around them echoed with the sound of the alarms. Distantly, he could hear the thump of boots as more goons raced to join the party.

 

Wade narrowed his eyes at him. “When else am I going to do it?” He tutted. “It’s like you expect me to be walking for no reward.”

 

Tony took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment. “Do you at least remember the way out?” he asked. He could lecture the other man on safe rescuing practices later.

 

“Of course I remember the way out,” Wade retorted. “We just go,” he began. He held up his hand to point in the appropriate direction, but hesitated. “We just go,” he tried again. Once more, he failed. Wade turned his head from side to side, seemingly trying to figure where he had entered the room from.

 

Tony sighed once more. “You came from over there,” he told the other man, pointing in the appropriate direction.

 

“We just go that way,” Wade said as though he hadn’t been completely lost just a moment ago, pointing one finger in the direction Tony had indicated. He skipped through the door. Tony sighed a third time and followed after him.

 

* * *

 

“You’re terrible at rescuing people,” Tony told Wade. “Three out of ten, would not recommend.”

 

“Fuck you,” Wade retorted, “I’m awesome at this.”

 

“Really?” Tony asked, waving a hand at the armed thugs surrounding them. “Are you sure about that?”

 

Wade eyed them for a moment before shrugging. “It’s a minor setback,” he said finally.

 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “‘A minor setback?’” he questioned. “Jesus, Wade.”

 

“I can take care of them,” Wade insisted. “You won’t have to lift a finger.” One of the goons surrounding them took a step forward. Wade retaliated by aiming a gun at the thug’s face. “Not so fast, sweetcheeks. Can’t you see we’re having a debate?”

 

“‘Debate?’ I wasn’t aware your terrible judgement was a matter of opinion.” Tony fingered the small lumps sitting heavily in his pockets. He wasn’t sure if he was going to have to use any of his makeshift arsenal any time soon.

 

The goon twitched in their direction. Wade cocked his gun with a menacing click. “You think I have terrible judgement? I’m dating you, aren’t I?”

 

“Like I said,” Tony told him, “terrible judgement.”

 

Wade turned to look at Tony, shoulders drooping as his concentration shifted. The gun he was holding didn’t waver. “That,” he intoned gravely, “is the saddest thing I’ve ever…” He trailed off, freezing for a moment. His hand flew to the phone strapped to his hip. He extricated it from its holster with one hand and turned it rightside up. The light from the screen illuminated his masked face. He gasped. “There’s a bulbasaur down here,” he said, delighted.

 

Tony closed his eyes. “Are you serious right now?”

 

Wade didn’t even bother looking at him. “I’m always serious about pokémon,” he said. He flicked his thumb repeatedly over the screen, shoulders tensing as he failed to catch the creature. He groaned and holstered his gun so he could attempt it with two hands.

 

Tony supposed that he should just be grateful that the minions were too confused by the situation to act on the opening Wade had given them. “Do you want me to catch it for you?” he offered.

 

“I wanna catch the bulbasaur,” Wade whined, holding the device in one hand while he flicked his finger up the screen with the other.

 

“Is it breaking out of the pokéball or are you just incapable of hitting it?”

 

Tony couldn’t see Wade’s face, but he could swear the other man was pouting. “It keeps jumping out of the way,” he complained. Tony didn’t say anything in response. He just counted to ten in his head. When he hit ten, Wade swore and held out his phone. “Catch it for me?” he pleaded, as though Tony hadn’t already made the offer

 

Accepting the phone with one hand, Tony swiped the pokéball at the little creature. The ball hit and the bulbasaur was encapsulated. The ball shook three times and the pokémon was successfully captured. Tony cleared the screen. “There’s a weedle here, too,” he told Wade.

 

The man gasped in delight. “Catch it,” he demanded. “I’m gonna name it Lovebug, after you.” Tony snorted and set to catching that one, as well.

 

By this time, the goons had tired of standing around and had recovered enough from the spectacle the two of them made to attempt to gain control of the situation once more. The thug from before raised his gun at them again. Without even bothering to look, Wade plucked the gun from his holster and fired. The man crumpled to the ground.

 

This was enough to rally the other thugs into action. The area surrounding Tony was filled with gunfire and screaming. He tucked the phone in his pocket and sighed. He’d worry about pokémon later.

 

* * *

 

Tony and Wade stood outside the compound, watching as the building was engulfed in flame. Tony leaned against his boyfriend, handing over the other man’s phone even as he surveyed the smouldering wreckage. Wade took it and tapped at the screen. “What do you want to do now?” the masked man asked.

 

“Dinner?” Tony suggested with a shrug.

 

Wade considered for a moment. “Can we go to Carlotta’s?” he asked.

 

Tony blinked, finally taking his gaze off of the ruins to eye Wade. “You hate Carlotta’s.” Wade was suspiciously silent. Tony rolled his eyes. “There’s a pokéstop there, isn’t there.”

 

“That’s a strong possibility,” Wade conceded.

 

Tony slung an arm around the other man’s shoulders and began walking, leading them away from the ruined compound. “How about we walk to the nearest sketchy diner,” he suggested, “and then later I get Happy to drive us around to all the pokéstops we can find.”

 

“Okay,” Wade agreed. He wrapped his arm around Tony, low enough that he could grab a handful of the genius’ ass. “Sounds good. As long as you help me catch them.”

 

“Anytime,” Tony told him, “anytime.”


End file.
